I WILL BE OK. I CAN DO THIS.

truth is, i am not in the mood to blog.
i didnt want to write all these.  but i need a platform to type sth down.

click "X' now.

i am experiencing some really really down periods in my life. (yes, i have my downs too.)

and as i thought abt it, i fear for my life.
i was thinking, if this continues day after day, i will need to see a psychologist soon.

the moment i think abt it, i drop a tear uncontrollably.
i didnt want anyone to worry for me and then ask.
cause that will remind me of what i hated most.

so i wiped it away, before i lose control and end up having swollen eyes.

only mama understand. i didnt know how else to continue cause i am speechless to voice it, my silence, she understands it all.

her almost silent sobbing pierce my heart into many pieces.
the last thing on my mind is to make her worry for me.

i didnt want to bring any form of sadness to mama.
but i dont know who else to rant to, apart from my mama.

my phone has got almost no numbers.
XX is away in army and the only no that came into my mind; mama's.

i just need someone to talk to then.

i know it. its eating me inside out. and its unhealthy.
they sense the change. they are scared and they don dare to ask, for fear that it triggers the deepest sorrow i have in me.

i tried my best to hide it alr. i tried to be normal.
but i guess, my face says it all.

i am tired. i know, i aged in just 2 days.
smile fades, replaced with grief and speechless conclusion gathered.

i need time. (:
Dear god, save me from all these craziness.

one day, i will break apart and hell break loose.
i cant imagine that.

repeat after me, I WILL BE OK. I WILL BE OK. I WILL BE OK. I WILL BE OK. I WILL BE OK. I WLL BE OK.

I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS.

TML IS A BETTER DAY.
VERON, SMILE.